Writing Prompt

Today's writing prompt was actually too close for comfort. I got "Write hard and clear about what hurts.". I guess here we go. 

Waking up had always been a painful experience for me. These days, a worse one. It's not just the coming back to reality. It's knowing that even my imagination can't save me. And being alone doesn't help.
It hurts that I can't help but wonder if I'm doing what's right for me. Im taking steps that are too big for me. I'm walking a road in the dark, alone, desesperatly trying to get somewhere I don't even know. The people that I met along the way just shake their heads in disapointment at me. 
It's been a very long time since I heard a kind word. It's been years since I don't cry every night.
A few weeks ago I actually thought I was making some progress, but now I see it. I took a step I didn't what to for some I love. And fell the stairs back to the start when I didn't get the support I needed. And I really can't blame anyone but myself.
When I say I want to hide and maybe come out next year I really mean it. I'm not being dramatic, that's just how I feel. 
It hurts to be alone, it hurts to be misunderstood, it hurts to be tired all the time, it hurts to know that I have everything and still am depressed.
I guess people are right when they say music saves people's lifes. I do hope things really get better. 
But really, what hurts the most is knowing I'm nothing special. To anyone at all.